A Note To My Past Self

Candidate Insights

Feb 1

It’s weird to think that this time last year, I was thinking that I was about to have the best professional year of my life. As a company, we thought 2020 was going to be EPIC. And it was, just not the way we thought. I was a few months back from my second maternity leave, having a strong start to the year when everything stopped. As I look back on 2020, I sometimes have PTSD, but mostly, I feel pride and gratitude. Gratitude for the people I work with, and the two women I work for. Proud to have made it out on the other side (well, almost) and proud of how Juno has adjusted, came together, and lifted each other up when we all needed it most.

There is a Michael J. Fox quote that I have been clinging to lately,

“I THINK THE MORE UNEXPECTED SOMETHING IS, THE MORE THERE IS TO LEARN FROM IT.”

Isn’t that the truth! To watch the way Juno has adapted, made adjustments, supported people and really, grew up, has been pretty incredible. None of us were prepared for last year. One minute we were planning our St. Paddy’s Day potluck, the next we were rolling out our Health Epidemic Preparation Plan. (It wasn’t considered a pandemic quite yet).

Fun fact. I gave my notice to Juno at the end of April in 2020. One of my friends/colleagues recently said that it was one of the “top 5 worst moments of 2020”. Sorry!

I was broken down. I was more stressed than I’ve ever been and I felt completely lost. I know this is not unique to me. I thought changing jobs would erase the trauma of spending two months working from home with a partner, 3-year-old, a baby, and post-partum in a small house in the burbs. Instead, I spent the next 3 days crying because I immediately realized I had made a huge mistake. Sure, there were some unresolved issues at work. Difficult conversations I had been putting off because suddenly, in the midst of a pandemic, they didn’t seem all that important. And also, I didn’t want to have them.

But because I didn’t have those difficult conversations, didn’t speak up about things that I was struggling with. I ran. If it were not for the incredible support system I am so lucky to have at Juno, that might have been the end of it. But we don’t give up here. I ended up coming back after what is now referred to as my 5-day sabbatical. I had thoughtful and transparent conversations and we all moved forward, better and stronger.

SO WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

Airing out my drama? Because to see where Juno is now is incredible. I feel incredibly lucky to work where I do. I’ve always felt that way, but it’s different now. I felt like we were all in the trenches together. Deep in the trenches. Slightly unsure of what we were doing and how we were all going to keep moving forward. But we did it together. It might sound cliche to say we are stronger than ever, but it’s actually so true.

I also wanted to share what I learned and what I would tell my 2020 self if I could go back in time. I learned that the story you tell yourself is always worse than the truth. Give people a chance before you make assumptions; and give yourself a chance. Trust your voice. Speak up when something isn’t working for you. Ask for help when you are struggling. Have honest conversations.

Lastly, remember that everyone is dealing with their own sh*t. So be patient with each other as we all navigate this “new normal”. When the collective works together and treats each other with grace, there is so much more success to be had.

I also want to say thank you, Juno. Thank you for believing in me as much as I believe in you!